Hurdles in Kansas 

Put the pedal to the metal as your feet leave the floor 

1st gear, 2nd gear, 3rd gear, four
Time wrap it up and roll it up, put an end to this venue

You’re at the head of the table, put the rest on the menu
Served with a smile, Flashtyn style

And at the end of the day, you’re on the top of the pile
Sprint til you’re spent, never ride the bench 

Just like my sun, burn bright intense…




​I wish I could take credit for all of these, but what great reminders…

FEAR = Few Ever Arrive Rejoicing
FEAR = Failure Expected And Received
FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real
FEAR = False Expectations Appearing Real

FEAR = Forgetting Everything is Al-Right

FEAR = Failure to Evaluate Anything Relistically 

FEAR = Feeling Excited About Recovery 

FEAR = Fear Expressed Allows Relief
FEAR = Feelings Every Alcoholic Rejects

FEAR = Feeling Exaggerated Anxiety Responses

FEAR = Fighting Ego Against Reality (constantly)

FEAR = Forget Everything and Run (polite version)
FEAR = Fuck Everything and Run! (not recommended–it’s what we used to do)
FEAR = Face Everything and Recover! (definitely recommended)
FEAR = Forgetting Everything’s All Right (not really!)
FEAR = Frustrated Effects of Always Running 
FEAR = Frantic Efforts to Appear Recovered
FEAR = Fully Expecting Another Result
Fear is what we make of it…what does FEAR mean to you?

Build with me

In this very moment, somewhere, a child is born into a world filled with love and hope, while another person dies forgotten and alone.
Conversely, in the same instant, somewhere else, a child is born into circumstance filled with fear and hate, just as someone else leaves this world sorely missed, cherished and revered. 
We decide what kind of world are we choosing to build…

The Wave

I found something to connect with that is greater than me.
I went to the beach.

I left all those big ideas, thoughts and feelings on the sand.

I walked down into the water.

I tried to stop the waves, all different sizes.

I experienced what happens.

I did not decide first.

It was not an intellectual exercise.

It was a spiritual experienceo

The revelation was found in the process.
Get wet.

Look silly.

Get pummeled.

Get up.

Repeat, until exhausted.
Turn around.

Don’t fight the wave.

Go with it.

Let the wave take over.

Do not resist.

Work with the wave instead of against it. 

Do not think.

I cannot stop it.

I cannot control it.

I can enjoy it or fight it.
Once I accept it, then it grows bigger than I ever have imagined it could be.

I meet a Power Greater than myself on universal terms, not my own.

I dare you to play in the natural world.
Treat yourself to a spiritual experience.

Get out of your head.

Surrender the fight and enjoy the wave.
~ S.D.

Gently Down the Stream 

It is impossible to step in the same river twice.
I have been guilty of trying to freeze time because of my own self-centered fear. Terrified of what could be or what wouldn’t be, I was unable to move. I was stuck somewhere between a past I did not want to accept and a future I was afraid to face.
Then I was promised that if I lived life differently, the world could be different too. I learned that much of reality depends on my perception and perspective. What was and what will be doesn’t have to dictate what is. The only constant in this world is change. This moment will never exist as it is again. I can try to hold on to it or let it go and embrace what comes next. Those are my choices.
The stream of life is never stagnant. 

This Is For You

If you are like me, then you have tried sobriety by exhausting all human tools at your disposal. These methods may include staying sober using fear, consequence, avoiding temptation, changing geographical location, self-knowledge, obligation to work/friends/lovers, sheer willpower, memory of the worst day, love of children, just saying no, therapy/counseling, cataloging triggers, working out, coddling feelings, analyzing thoughts, going to meetings, sober support, crying to a sponsor and making promises.  All of these tips and tricks yield varying results, but ultimately every last one will fail.
If you are like me, you are an alcoholic/addict and can not manage your own life; no human power can relieve our suffering. My internal condition had been damaged well past the point self-repair. I needed something greater to produce an effect sufficient to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. I suffer from an illness that only a spiritual experience can conquer.
If you are like me, you can’t stay sober on your own.  I am convinced that, left untreated, your sickness will progress to the point where you have only one of two choices: “One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could; and the other, to accept spiritual help.”
If you are like me, you will go to meetings and join online recovery groups. You will meet people who appear to have suffered the same way you have. You will hear great ideas from well-meaning people who don’t understand alcoholism or addiction. You may even stay clean and sober while you squirm, restless, irritable and discontented in your chair,  holding on with white knuckles. You won’t need a drink or a drug to suffer and want to die.
If you are like me, then there is a solution; a spiritual program of action that will give you a design for living so you don’t have to drink, use or suffer.
If you are like me, then this is for you…
~ S.D.

The View

They carted James into that part of the hospital where they send people with no family who are expected to die. With his broken body, he was forced to lie on his back and stare at the ceiling. His room was cold and sterile, but he had a bright and cheery roommate named Stan. 
Stan was bedridden as well. He had the bed next to the window and for one hour each day the nurse would raise his bed so  Stan’s lungs could drain. During that hour, Stan would look out the window and spend the entire time telling James about the world outside. 
As James lie there, unable to move, he would close his eyes and let his mind fill with the beautiful imagery that Stan painted with his words. Each day was uniquely described in perfection and that time became the most important hour in James’ day.
“Just past the giant cypress trees, I can see the cliffs. When I lean to the left I can see just a sliver of the sandy beach. To the right, I watch as the setting sun begins to dip into the ocean. The sky is electric and changes from red to orange. It’s reflection bounces off of the white caps.” 
Over weeks and months, there were stories of whales, sailboats, surfers, joggers, moms with strollers and every day ended with a sunset. It was so magical that James could smell the ocean; he could taste the salt in the air; he could hear the crashing of the waves; he could feel the sand between his toes; and if he squinted just right,  the ceiling would come alive for just a few moments. 
Then one day, without warning, death came and visited poor ailing Stan. James was saddened by the loss and missed his friend dearly. Lying in his room, he beckoned for the nurse. He asked if he could have the bed next to the window and if, just once, the nurse could prop him up so he could see the view. 
The nurse looked puzzled but granted James his one request. James peered out the window and was shocked to see that the window faced a blank wall. He looked at the nurse in disbelief and asked her why Stan would have lied to him for all those months. 
She explained that Stan was blind and that he had no way of knowing what was outside of the window. She suggested that, just maybe, Stan was reminding him of how beautiful the world is, despite the suffering we all face everyday…
When grief is shared, there is half the suffering; but when beauty is shared there is twice the joy. 
What is the view you will share today?