I won’t be partaking today, but I will be celebrating. Today I have 7 and 1/2 years of continuous sobriety.
Marijuana used to be my reservation. I couldn’t imagine life without weed. I thought if I just stopped the “hard” drugs, then life would be fine. Eventually, I came to accept the fact that I was alcoholic, and suffered from a permanent, progressive illness that when left untreated is fatal.
I first attempted sober living while holding on to the notion that somehow, someway I would still be able to smoke pot. What I found is, that while the powerlessness and unmanageability of pot was not significant in my life, smoking marijuana separated me from my fellowship.
I would attend meetings stoned and I was no longer on the same page as those who were actually working the program and developing a new way of life. I convinced myself that I was different. Without the support of my fellows and because of the progressive nature of this sickness, it was only a matter of time before I would drink and use again. I did.
I have since released any fleeting notions that pot can be a part of my life. I have found a place of neutrality with weed. I believe that it is probably the lesser of other substances and that there are likely many benefits that come from marijuana. Fortunately for me, all I have to know is that getting high is not for me. I’ll leave the marijuana debate to those more invested it.
I have 7 and 1/2 years today. Thank you for celebrating with me.
Happy 4/20 to each and everyone!!!