Step 10

Accountability

Tonight I meditate and reflect on what accountability means to me. In the context of a new design for living, I believe accountable means an obligation to answer for my actions.

In the past, I was always accountable to my wants. I took what I thought I deserved at any cost. That way of living has become incompatible with the life I seek. I must be accountable to something more than myself. Accountability becomes my responsibility to live in balance with the rest of the Universe.

This responsibility is two-fold. It is corrective. When I react negatively to a person, place, thing, situation or circumstance, I must take ownership of what I do. If I do harm, I fix it. I use my fellows to help me gauge where I have fallen short and I look at what needs to change in me in order for me to exist at peace with you, them, myself and the larger Universe. I am human, wonderfully flawed, and I will fail. This corrective measure is a sound means for repairing the damage I have done. When practiced daily, it allows me a relatively clean slate to build on each day.

Accountability also has another component, one of vigilance. This is a continuous, pre-emptive mindfulness that, when practiced well, keeps me from creating wreckage that I will eventually have to clean up. Often my focus is on damage control instead of prevention. I operate without a filter and I am careless causing unintended harm. If I can walk with guided grace, instead of moving through this life with no concern for anyone but myself, perhaps I can perserve healthy, harmonious relationships in this life. Self-awareness and self-appraisal keep me from creating problems in the first place.

I must be both, vigilant and corrective in all my interactions throughout the day.

Show me how to do no harm.
Help me repair the harms I have done.

~S.D.

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