Still Smoking

I feel an uncontrollable craving when I take you in. Every time you touch my lips, I feel peace and comfort, but it’s all an illusion. I am blinded to all of the damage you do to me. You make me evermore dependent as you destroy me from the inside.
I am obsessed to the point that even when I turn my back on you forever, you somehow worm your way back into my life, sneaky and subtle. You’re calling to me as I watch you dance through the lives of those around me. I want you. I care more about you than I care for myself. Uncontrollable urges, stronger and more alluring and enticing than anything I have ever known. 
We part for a time and I begin to believe the lie that my life was in some way better with you in it. I thought I couldn’t live without you but now I know that’s a lie. I see you for who you are, a deceiver and destroyer of everyone you touch. I have to rid myself of you so I can live, but I don’t know how.
How do I breathe without you?
I ask for strength to stop loving you one day at a time.
~ S.D.


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