I saw you yesterday.

Standing next to traffic at a red light, you looked in my direction with an empty, hollow stare. If you recognized me, you didn’t let on. I doubt you made the connection, you were too caught up in your mission. Flying a sign for money, with a gas can prop sitting by your feet. You have become hard to look at. It’s like seeing a warped reflection of my past self. I am afraid for you.
The ugliness of addiction has stolen the friend I knew. 7 years ago you were one of my inspirations. You had multiple years away from drugs and alcohol and you were an amazing example of recovery and service. You showed me what hope looked like and that it was possible for me. 
I know you have faced challenges in the last year that were unfair and inconsolable, things no one should  ever have to face. Situations and circumstance became your “reason” to attempt another impossible escape from your feelings. You took that same familiar shortcut to nowhere. Again. This path only leads us back to misery, and a cycle of unavoidable destruction. But in our hearts, we know there are no shortcuts in life.
I have extended my hand to you countless times, but you are so wrapped up in the lies we tell ourselves that you cannot hear me. You push me away, telling me that as soon as you feel better, you will reach out and take my hand. I know if I had waited until I felt better to get help, I would be dead today. The time to ask for assistance is now.
I can’t give you change,  I can only share my hope with you. I am your reminder- there is a solution, if you want it. 
You know who you are.

You know where I am.

You know what we do.

You know why we do it.

You know how we recover.

When you are ready.
We will all stop using…one way or another. I pray you come back before it is too late.
I miss you, my friend. 
The light turns green. I drive on, but carry you with me in my heart.
“There but for the grace of God go I.”


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