Sick Like Me

“I knew I was alcoholic/adddict in the womb. Not to glorify using, but I love shooting coke in my neck. I have 7 DUIs, flatlined twice and I too have abuse in my bottom. That wasn’t enough to stop me cuz I’m a sick f@€k. I have been to PRISON…IN SOBRIETY!!! I drink near-beer, snort NoDoz and take morphine prescribed by my 4 different doctors. I just got my medical Marijuana card cuz I have anxiety and depression that I diagnosed on the internet. I went to my first meeting and was struck sober. I didn’t have to a work step. I have 7 months sober, and 2 years clean. I’m picking up my 1 year chip tonight cuz I don’t go to meetings that often. I don’t sponsor cuz I have a coffee commitment. I’m STILL a crazy badass who will kill you if you mess with me. You are all my family- attitude of gratitude yo! Oh, and my dog died. Just wanted to process my feelings at group level and check in. By the way does anyone have any work and I’m look for a room? Thanks for letting me share!!!”
*comes in late, after the speaker, vomits problem with no solution on the entire group. Drinks half the pot of coffee. Has 4 donuts. Gets up to go to the bathroom three times, smokes outside the front door while his cell phone is ringing back at his seat. Makes change for a $5 bill, taking six singles from the basket. Leaves right after his share, but only after writing down his number for a broken 19 year-old girl, one week out of treatment with no self-esteem.*
Moral: 

Stop trying to be unique. Try being a part of instead of apart from.  

Be careful what herd you insert yourself into. Whole packs of animals are known to run off cliffs together.

If what you are doing is working, congratulations; if not,there is an easier, softer way. 

There is a solution, it’s a new way of life. Its waiting for you to seize it. 

All are welcome and you can always keep coming back.

Or, you can just do what we do and stay.
The program is not “my” program.
~S.D.

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