For years I lived off the instant gratification of a drink or a drug …or so I thought.
Most of the time it was instant, but rarely was it truly gratifying.
It was more like a fleeting escape from the reality of my existence, which I refused to face.
My solution was a symbol and a symptom, of a deeper problem.
I placed bandaid on top of bandaid, while the infection under my skin spread out of control.
Slowly, my external appearance began to match my deteriorating interior.
I lowered my goals to match my behavior.
I stopped looking in mirrors, terrified of the unrecognizable person that stared back at me.
I could not wish or will away what I had become.
I was broken and it felt as if I was unfixable.
Exhausted, I became desperate enough to surrender.
I gave myself over to something greater and ever so slowly my life began to change.
I found that there is no shortcut to happiness.
Real satisfaction has never been instantaneous.
I needed a new definition of what it meant to be content.
Today, gratification is a process and not a destination.
Happiness comes from practicing spiritual principles, doing the next right thing and having a solid program of action.
This is the course, a new direction and A New Way of Life.