Instant but not Gratifying 

For years I lived off the instant gratification of a drink or a drug …or so I thought.

Most of the time it was instant, but rarely was it truly gratifying.

It was more like a fleeting escape from the reality of my existence, which I refused to face.

My solution was a symbol and a symptom, of a deeper problem.

I placed bandaid on top of bandaid, while the infection under my skin spread out of control.

Slowly, my external appearance began to match my deteriorating interior.

I lowered my goals to match my behavior.

I stopped looking in mirrors, terrified of the unrecognizable person that stared back at me.

I could not wish or will away what I had become.

I was broken and it felt as if I was unfixable.

Exhausted, I became desperate enough to surrender.

I gave myself over to something greater and ever so slowly my life began to change.

I found that there is no shortcut to happiness.

Real satisfaction has never been instantaneous.

I needed a new definition of what it meant to be content.

Today, gratification is a process and not a destination.  

Happiness comes from practicing spiritual principles, doing the next right thing and having a solid program of action.
This is the course, a new direction and A New Way of Life.
~S.D.

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