Step 8 – Smoking

I have made a list of all persons I have harmed and I am willing to make amends to them all.

My smoking harms myself and others. I hurt the ones I love and those love me by endangering my health. My second hand smoke hurts those who are around me. Fumes from my smoking are noxious and annoying. My cigarette butts pose a threat to the environment even when disposed of properly. The money I spend on smoking can be used to benefit myself and others. When I continue to smoke, I dishonor my father who died from respiratory failure due to smoking and alcoholism. I hurt my mother who taught me better and wants to see me well. When I smoke I rob my children of the precious time I have left on this earth. Smoking is a reminder that I am a slave to addiction and negates the message of hope I have been chosen to carry. I lie, cheat and hide my smoking which hurts my integrity. This is not who I am or how anyone intended me to be.

Have I missed anyone or anything that I have harmed?
Have I left any harms out?

I am ready to make an amends for how I have lived. I want to balance the scales which I have thrown off as best I can. I seek to set right my wrongs as I go from here.

Let me be the best example of God’s power and victory over addiction that I can be.
Help me heal, grow and change.
I am living testimony to a new way of life.
Thank You.

~S.D.

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Step 7 – Smoking

My Creator,
I’m now willing that You should have all of me, the good and the bad.
I pray now that You remove from me the craving and obsession to smoke.
This addiction stands in the way of my usefulness to You and my fellows.
Grant me a strength through this day to do Your bidding.
Amen.

~S.D.

Day 15

Step 6 – Smoking

I am entirely ready to have God remove all my cravings and obsessions associated with my smoking.

Reviewing the first five proposals:
1. Am I powerless over cigarettes and am I unable to manage them?
Yes
2. Have I come to believe that a Power greater than myself can restore me to sane thinking with regards to smoking?
Yes
3. Have I truly made a decision to let God manage my thinking and my actions when it comes to smoking?
Yes
4. Have I made a fearless and searching moral inventory of my self with regards to smoking?
Yes
5. Have I admitted to God, myself and another human being the exact nature of my wrongs?
Yes

“Is my work solid so far? Are the stones properly in place? Have I skimped on the cement put into the foundation? Have I tried to make mortar without sand?”

Willing is indispensable.
I am willing to let God remove from me all the things that I have admitted are objectionable, including smoking. Take them all- every one. I cling to nothing.
I am willing to give up my selfishness, my resentments, my dishonesty and my fear so that I may be all that You would have me be.

I am a man who is not a slave to a substance.
I am man who can overcome my addictions with help.
I am a man who can learn new ways and reprogram my old behaviors.
I am a man who can differentiate the true from the false.

I am ready and willing.

~S.D.

Step 5 – Smoking

I am admitting to myself, God and you, the exact nature of my wrongs. I have completed a searching and fearless inventory of my resentments, my fears, my relationships, my harms and my ideals with regards to smoking.

I have found that:
I am selfish.
I am resentful.
I am dishonest.
I am in fear.

In my heart, I know that:
I want to be different.
I want to change.
I seek to be of maximum service to God and my fellows and smoking gets in the way of that.
I want to love myself and practice healthy living.
I want to stop smoking and stay stopped.

I am on a life or death errand.
I need your help to re-make myself.
I ask for you to reflect on my character, analyze my inventory and tell me how I have fallen short.
This is you chance to share your thoughts.
What are my barriers to a smoke free life?
What are the patterns that lead me back to smoking?
How did you quit?
How did you stay stopped?

Let me know how I can best practice a smoke free existence.

I don’t plan to comment, argue or have any witty replies. I am here to listen and digest. Love me more than you love my feelings…I can take it.

~S.D.

Step 4 – Smoking (Ideals)

A searching and fearless moral inventory of myself and my nicotine addiction.

IV. Interpersonal Relationships – Ideals

My ideal relationship is one that isn’t selfish and self centered. I want to practice spiritual principles in all my affairs. I want to change and grow. I seek to be better than I was.
Every single interaction I have with my fellow human beings should be honest, compassionate and true. I need to do good, not harm others or myself. I can love myself as I am loved.
I want to be an agent of something greater than just me. I want to serve and help others. I will give someone else the opportunity to help me as well.
My experience, my triumphs and my pitfalls, are all examples of hope. I need to ask how can I best serve the greater good, not how can I instantly gratify myself.

Am I a hypocrite?
Do my actions match my words?
Can I be an effective and efficient messenger of hope with a cigarette hanging out of my mouth?
Am I better example of faith and hope if I take the necessary steps to overcome smoking and share that process with another?

I am a conduit of spiritual principles in action. I treat myself with love and live healthy. I am present for those I care about. I live this ideal relationship every day and everywhere I go. I am in action.

~S.D.

Step 4 – Smoking (Relationships/Other Harms)

A searching and fearless moral inventory of myself and my nicotine addiction, part 3.

III. Interpersonal Relationships & “other harms”

A) Who I harm:
The environment
The general public
My community
My friends
My fellows
My family
Myself

B) How:
I exhale second hand smoke and pretend it doesn’t hurt others.
I am dishonest.
I say one thing and do another.
I support faceless corporations that exploit sick people and sell poison.
I litter.
I waste money that could be better spent.
I am shortening my life when I should be trying to be of maximum service to others.
I use a crutch to try and manage my feelings.
I am lazy and boring.
I am killing myself slowly with a known poison.
I don’t think about the future or the inevitable repercussions of my actions.

C) My wrongs/mistakes and what I should have done differently:
I am selfish, dishonest and inconsiderate. I have unjustifably aroused jealousy, suspicion and bitterness. I lie.

I should be responsible for my actions. If I smoke I should responsibly dispose of my garbage. I should not smoke around others. I should care more about myself. I should not smoke. I am worthy of a healthy existence. I should love myself and not harm myself, those I love or anyone else. I must have integrity, conviction, fortitude and perseverance. I need to ask for help and be honest.

~S.D.

Step 4 – Smoking (Fear)

A searching and fearless moral inventory of myself and my nicotine addiction. Causes and conditions continued.

II. Fears

A) What:
I am fearful of failure.
I am afraid of how others see me.
I am scared of my mortality.
I don’t want to be perceived as weak.
I am afraid of being uncomfortable.

B) The cause:
I am too self-reliant and prideful. I seek to control and run the show. I base my self-worth on how other’s see me. I seek external validation to make me feel better about my internal condition. I judge my insides opposite others’ outsides. I don’t like to give up or surrender. My obsessions are stronger than my thoughts and feelings. I am dishonest with self.

C) Affects:
My self-esteem, my ambitions, my pocketbook, my personal relationships, my pride and security (fear).

D) My wrongs/mistakes:
I need to humbly rely on something Greater than myself. I must play the role I am assigned instead of trying to assume control of the uncontrollable. Self-confidence has never fully solved my fear problem. I have placed short term gratification over long term solution. I want great return with the least possible amount of effort and work. I knowingly lie to myself and believe my own lies. I make excuses and justify my actions even when it goes against what I say I truly want. I ignore the truth and don’t honor commitments to myself. I offer to help others but I rarely ask for help. I pretend I am not afraid. I hide my true self from my fellows. I don’t love myself as I am loved.

~S.D.