I have tried to freeze time in order to placate my own selfcentered fear. Terrified of what could be or what might not be, I was unable to move. But the only constant variable in this life is change. This moment will never exist as it is again.
I can try to hold on to the forever fleeting, or let go and embrace what comes next.
These are my only choices.
~S.D.
You might be sitting next to them at a meeting- broken people with nothing but the desire to stop drinking and using; yet, they seem unwilling, dishonest and closed-minded.
They will not believe they are powerless over drugs or alcohol- they will not recognize that their lives have become unmanageable.
They refuse to believe there is hope. They will not believe in anything other than their own self-will and determination.
They will NOT make a decision to turn their lives over to anything other than self.
They claim they are not slefish, dishonest, angry or fearful. They refuse to look at themselves.
They will admit nothing to anyone.
They cannot will themselves to change.
They do not even recognize there is anything to change.
They do not think they have harmed amyone.
They act entitled and deserving. They take whatever they think they want, no matter the cost.
They are not accountable or responsible. Rarely present, they only worry about what was and what will be.
They do not wish to grow or seek new experiences.
They have no message, only looking for what they can get, instead of what they can give.
They have not admitted they are alcoholic and still try to manage their lives. They look to human powers to relieve their suffering. They seek no connection to anything other than themselves.
These people are the EXCEPTIONS.
Welcome!
They are us, and we were them.
Remember, we are sitting in a room full of sick people trying to get well, just like us.
Let love and tolerance be our code, as we demonstrate these lives we have been blessed with.
~ S.D.
April 4, 2020
Gas price a mile from home was under $3.
School cancelled.
Self-distancing measures on the rise.
Tape on the floors at grocery stores and others to help distance shoppers (6ft) from each other.
Limited number of people inside stores, therefore, lineups outside the store doors.
Non-essential stores and businesses mandated closed.
Parks, trails, beaches and entire cities locked up.
Entire sports seasons cancelled.
Concerts, tours, festivals, entertainment events cancelled.
Weddings, family celebrations, holiday gatherings cancelled.
No masses, churches are closed.
No gatherings of 50 or more, then 20 or more, and now 5 or more.
We don’t socialize with anyone outside of our homes.
Children’s outdoor parks are closed.
We distance from one another, isolated.
Shortage of medical supplies (gowns, gloves and masks) for the front-line workers.
Shortage of ventilators for the critically ill.
Panic buying sets in and we have no toilet paper, no disinfecting supplies, no paper towels. no laundry soap and no hand sanitizer.
The shelves are bare.
Manufacturers, distilleries and other businesses switch their lines to help make visors, masks, hand sanitizer and PPE.
Government closes the border for all non-essential travel.
Fines are established for breaking the rules.
Stadiums and recreation facilities open up for the overflow of Covid-19 patients.
Press conferences daily from the President. Daily updates on new cases, recoveries, and deaths.
Government incentives to stay home.
Barely anyone on the roads.
People wearing masks and gloves outside.
Essential service workers are terrified to go to work.
Medical field workers are afraid to go home to their families.
Fear rules the day.
This is the Novel Coronavirus (Covid-19) Pandemic, declared March 11th, 2020.
This is a yearly reminder that all life is precious and that we should not to take the things we love for granted.
We have so much!
Be thankful. Be grateful. Be kind.
Love one another and support everyone.
This is not a dream.
S.D.
I feel my pulse quicken in anticipation of what could be.
The intangible familar calling from the periphery.
A memory that hasn’t happened yet.
This is not a dream.
I have strong recollection of standing here before.
This peaceful place between intuition and intention.
A stuttered glimpse of what comes next.
This is not a dream.
I trust the reassuring whisper of my soul.
The starlight illuminates a discernible path.
A reminder of the inevitable possibility of promise.
We are held back from our highest potential by relationships without closure, paralyzing fear, and unresolved anger.We have lived with unprocessed pain and dodged dealing with the intolerable. We lied to ourselves, existing in a haze, anesthetized, numbed to the reality of our existence. We never learned how to live.
Personal growth is dependent on healing from the past. Healing requires that I develop self- awareness, right wrongs where possible and accept that some things are unchangeable. Without clear and honest understanding, I drift between denial and delusion. I either deny my pain or block it from my consciousness. I must become self-aware, right-sized and learn who I am.
Without balancing the scales, thrown off as a result of my behavior, I continue to be plagued by anger, fear and damaged relationships. I must make things right where I can, creating no more wreckage in the process. Without admission that some things cannot be the way I would like them to be, I can never be at peace. Events cannot be changed. Some situations are not for me to fix. When I surrender to what is, I become grounded in reality; efficient and effective in my actions.
In order to become who we are meant to be, we must heal and grow. We are patient and kind to ourselves as we learn to live, remembering that what we do today becomes our history tomorrow.
~ S.D.
Visions are different from dreams. Visions are fertile inspiration, a liquid intention wrapped in intuitive notion. Each one incubates in the soul and is birthed through the heart.
Visualize a small glimpse of light that shines and illuminates the path ahead.
A brief flicker, skips ahead of this Moment.
An amalgamation of what could be and what hasn’t happened.
This fluidity of potential partially reveals secrets of today, tomorrow and years from Now.
Visions emerge from us as our spirits whisper the map that is life.
They are premonitions of where we’re going, telling our hearts how to navigate.
The more conscious, clear and connected we are, the more we can tune into these visions of understanding our place in the stream of life.
How will I be beyond this moment?
What path am I on?
Why I am I doing what I do?
Where do I see myself headed?
When am I most effective?
Who do I want to be?
I am conscious. I seek clarity. I am connected. I see past myself. I am complete. I let go of what I think.
My dreams are mine and mine alone, but vision is drawn from the larger Universe, a small glimpse of starlight guiding the way. Learn to see from the soul and through the heart. Trust as we watch each vision come into focus. Practice nurturing them, as they manifest themselves.
When the path is dark, our sight adjusts intuitively. We become comfortable with the sparse twinkling of light. We let vision be the guide.
~ S.D.
I stand in the middle of the road, looking back on a seemingly indiscriminate and random course of destruction.
There is no real pattern in the catastrophic calamity.
I look for things to salvage as I sort through the casualties…
Homes burned to the ground.
Cars smashed and discarded.
Possessions pillaged and plundered.
Material objects ravaged of any sentiment.
All collateral damage, but then the real victims begin to appear…
Two small children, lost and confused, cannot comprehend their loss.
An ex wife depleted of all energy, remains strong despite her pain.
A brother and a sister rip through the rubble trying to find a memory of their hero.
The faint wailing of a grieving mother tears at my soul, as she mourns her missing child…
Broken hearts are littered amongst the debris of past relationships.
Bits and pieces of dreams, shards of talent and unmet goals, all scattered without regard.
Self-respect and dignity lay twisted in a useless heap.
Potential and purpose buried deep beneath the wreckage…
Like a whirlwind, I ran helter skelter through people’s lives with no concern for those who were in my way.
How do I objectively catalog the haphazard and aimless devastation, when the only common denominator was me?
I become accountable.
How do I calculate the cost of my actions?
I pay for what I have done, directly and indirectly, without question.
How do I repair the damage?
I fix what can be saved and begin to build something stronger out of my harms.
I walk fearlessly through the darkness of my past, toward the salvation of a bright new day.
I am filled with hope.
Reflection is my toughest teacher because it tests me first, and then provides me with a lesson.
~S.D.
Tradition is a conduit through which we stay tethered, connected to history. It is a sum of the customs, beliefs and values that we pass down through time. Traditions are the offspring of practices that have given birth to a New Design for Living.
We are the children of a New Way of Life and the living embodiment of sacred tradition. Like any child, I must be allowed to grow and develop, while staying true to the legacy from which I was born.
I am the steward of freedom, brought forth from hopelessness entrusted with a solution for living which is proven to transform the most bleak of realities.
I am a harbinger of healing and growth, who’s sole purpose is to be of service to those about me.
My birthright is my blessing and my curse. Insignificant opposite the whole, yet uniquely qualified to pass on this torch of hope.
Let me be a reflection of those who came before me.
Guide me with direction and purpose.
Make me a custodian of faith.
“…we must work together and hang together, else most of us will finally die alone.”
~S.D.
When I retire at night…
After the distractions of the day have subsided, I reflect on what was. I try to write something, even if it feels forced or contrived. Even if I am tired and don’t want to. Reflection helps me feel grounded and connected.
I review how I participated in the day. I ponder key questions including:
-Where was I resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid?
-Do I owe an apology or amends?
-Was I forthcoming?
-Was I kind and loving?
-Was I patient and understanding?
-How can I be a better example of what I want to see in the world?
-Was I able to be of service?
-Did I contribute to the greater good or did I take from it?
I try to show others forgiveness and embrace acceptance.
I recommit to grow closer to the person I strive to be.
I thank the Sun, the Moon and Stars that I have a promised place among them.
I remember to be grateful for all the blessings I get to experience.
I turn off the lights and close my eyes, safe and protected.
~S.D.
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